Ethan Lane,

To my big loving teddy bear. Just thinking about you makes me laugh. You are our first born. I was so proud of you throughout the entire pregnancy. You were the one who gave me hope every week. You always grew, always moved, and led the pack in every way. Just as we suspected, you were almost an entire pound bigger than everyone else. I should have known that was a sign of things to come. You didn’t share the nourishment before you were born and you don’t share anything now. At 2lbs 9oz, you were almost twice the size of the others. Daddy and I felt most comfortable with you because you weren’t as fragile as the others. You were the first one we got to hold. I remember it was around midnight and we came down from our room to see you. The night shift nurse offered to let us secretly hold you. You were four days old and we finally held your tiny body.

You grew like crazy and hit all your goals in the NICU. When it came to eating your bottle you went crazy for it. You LOVED to eat! You still do too. The problem was, you got too excited and forgot to breathe while you were drinking your bottle. That would cause your stats to drop and you would turn gray and go limp. We would have to rub you and wiggle you around to bring you back. You were on target to come home first. Everyone knew you would lead the way. Except, you just couldn’t figure out how to eat and breath at the same time. Silly boy, Peytie passed you up and beat you by a week coming home.

Once you were home you were a complete joy. You were the best behaved and easiest to feed. You were a much needed break for the stressful feedings. You have been the first to walk, and talk and pretty much mastered everything physical. Now you are about 7 lbs bigger than everyone else and live for your next meal.

I remember when you were little and pretty good at crawling. You would crawl up to us and we would put our head down to you. You would laugh and then crawl backwards as fast as you could go. You would back up until you ran into something. It was so cute to see you do it. You also noticed how daddy laid on the floor. We have pictures of you lying on your side with your arm down in the exact position as daddy. How sweet was that!

You love to be held and snuggled and have latched onto a yellow fleece blanket. Thankfully we have two of them so you don’t notice when one is getting washed. You are the only one who sucks his thumb too. Yeah, you picked that habit up pretty early. You only do it when you have your blanket with you.

You have been considered the “easy” baby of the bunch. You haven’t struggled with anything so far. I pray that you keep your sweet demeanor about you. There isn’t a mean bone in your body; maybe an instigating part, but not a mean one. I love you more than life and hope you never feel unsafe. I know you don’t like crowds or strangers, but we will never let anything happen to you. I can’t wait to see what your dreams will be. You are so funny and easy going. You are definitely a follower and I pray you always love your siblings. Stick up for them and always come to us for anything. Peyton, Landon, Jenna, and Syd look up to you. They feel safe with you and know you will be there for them. I love the way you make me feel loved everyday. You say, “Okay mommy.” when I ask you to do something (usually). I can’t put into words how very special you are. There will never be another Ethan. I love you so much!